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Father Knows Best?

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Father Knows Best?

Well Hello Again!

Enjoying your summer thus far?  I am!  Beauty abounds in California year round and with these warmer months I never miss a moment to appreciate her beauty, be it the coast, mountains, deserts or valleys.  Here’s hoping your summer is filled with scenic eye-candy too!

Folks,  I had a hard time deciding who to write about this week.   After tossing 2 men back and forth, I’ve settled on telling you about one gentleman by the name of J…J.Wayne (at least that is what I’m going to call him in this blog post).  Can’t have lawsuits knocking at my door!

J was an older gentleman, mid-60s.  Now, normally I wouldn’t consider a man past the age of 53-ish  because I kinda wanted someone closer to my 49yrs.  I know, I know,  we’re not talking about a May-Dec romance here… more like a May-Sept thing, which, in retrospect,  probably wouldn’t be too embarrassing if I were ever to introduce him to my parents.

J introduced himself to me via a small but nice message.  I responded promptly because I have this one internet dating rule that I follow: if a man sends his own personal message instead of a computer generated wink/flirt/comment, I will respond.  I don’t care if it’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s profile pic staring back at me, he’s going to get a reply because he took the time to send a personal thought. It’s only fair, don’t you think?  Why of course it is.  And speaking of Ahmadinejad, I bet he writes some pretty heart felt poetry and love letters.  Outward displays of hostility is just a cry for love… or so I’ve been taught.

But back to J… my internet dating rule wasn’t the only reason why I gave him the time of day.   J’s profile picture showed him on a horse over looking the Sierra Nevada’s, very similar to the scenery above.  It was truly a stunning photo that I’m sure captured the interest of many a lady who forked out $60 seeking an eternal companion from the http://www.   Mountains, pine trees and on a horse no less… aahhh, heart be still!  Kudos to you J for your ‘Legends Of The Fall’-esque photo selection!

Scenery aside, J wasn’t so bad looking himself for he had a slight resemblance to Mike Ditka, former head coach of the Chicago Bears (quite like the stock photo below).  Personally, Mr. Ditka never did anything for me but I was willing to give this look a shot.  Sure, why not.

Reading up on  J’s bio, it said he has his own home that he built on a couple acres at the base of the Sierra Nevada’s .  Oooo, interest piqued!  Trust me, I scoured his photos to see what his house looked like.  He could have pieced together a cardboard shanty for all I knew.   Turns out, he had an absolutely lovely home.  Very nice!   J also owned several horses, dogs, vegetable/herb/flower gardens and fruit trees of just about every kind.  His profile stated further that J was extremely comfortable as a retiree due to well placed investments, thus enabling him to travel the world extensively.  Hmmm,  I was liking him already!  Little did J know but from his pictures and the description,  his homestead was everything I’ve ever dreamed about having.  But was the man?  That was the question… and the answer will follow.

On a side, as a young’n,  age 11 or so,  lil Miss Pooz bought a book at a yard sale titled ‘Caddy Woodlawn’.  Caddy was a young pioneer girl in the 1860s who settled with her family in Wisconsin.  (Laura Ingalls’ long lost cousin?)  How I loved Caddy’s tomboy adventures and the pioneer life she lived.  I wanted to be Caddy!   Ah, to live in a cabin, on a farm with my own vegetable, herb and flower gardens was the dream!  And then to can the fruits and veggies from said gardens was all I could hope for.   I wanted to know how to survive in the wilderness like pioneers had to.  I wanted to follow tracks in the snow and to fish in a creek, to churn butter, sew my own clothes, sit by the fire and read…and last but not least, I wanted to ride off into the sunset on a dang horse!  If I won the lotto, that’s the wish I’d make come true.   Living in a mansion next door to Paris Hilton or the Spellings was never my hope.  No siree Bob,  I wanted the simple life and J seemed to be in possession of it.

Aaaaand, there’s one more itty bitty reason why J’s place was so appealing… it would certainly do in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse (ZA) or the end of the world, whichever came first.  Ha!  Bet you didn’t see that one coming!!  Oh yea, true-blue ‘The Walking Dead’ fan here.  Best show on tv, hands down.  Hey, a girl’s gotta think of these things!  Survival is where it’s at and trust me, my chances of survival were looking pretty good on J’s homestead ’cause ain’t no zombie gonna drag his rotting ass out to the Sierra Nevada’s.   There are plenty of humans in the cities and suburbs for zombies to munch on so I’m pretty sure I’d be safe with enough home grown food to live off of for months, if not years, on J’s homestead, until the CDC got their act together and took care of the zombie infestation.

But I digress.

J and I corresponded via email a couple times then moved to the phone.  I kinda liked J… at first.  He was a straight-forward type of guy, generally what you’d expect of a gentleman from the wilderness who rode a horse.  He lived a clean, tough, solid life and was definitely a man who didn’t mess around…and that was a bit of the problem.    J didn’t mess around too much.   I like a man who is all man, but I also like a man who’s a bit of a goof as well and it was becoming apparent that J didn’t have much goof in him.  Tough guy is good, but tough-goofy guy is better.  At least for me.  Could I live with Mr. Serious the rest of my days?? Hmm, I suppose, but turns out, his lack of ‘goof’ was the least of his problems.

Now, I want to interject right here and now that Ms Pooz is doing her best not to JUDGE anyone, to give all men a chance (where applicable, of course).  But doggone it, there are just some things that not even a non-judgmental person can put up with and one of those things is… Grandpa pants.  Yea, you’ve seen ’em, pants on old men that are belted just below their nipples.  (sigh)   And you guessed it… a couple pictures from J’s profile showed he was the proud owner and wearer of Grandpa pants.  (for the more sensitive and squeamish, barf bags available upon request)

Okay, I can hear my mother right now, talking to the screen, “Is that all?  You can buy him better pants, you know.  Dillard’s is always having good sales.”

No mother, that is not all.  I had to mention the above so the nice readers could get a clearer understanding of what I’m about to say next.  See, more than a few times, after getting off the phone with J, I felt agitated, almost angry.  It wasn’t hard to figure out the cause… J was very condescending.  Now, I can’t give you examples of how he was condescending the first few times because that was a bit ago, but I can give you the LAST condescending remark he made to me.  We were talking about where each of us has traveled to, when he mentioned that he takes a cruise two times a year and, had I ever been on a cruise ship?  “Why, yes I have”, I said, “Took a very nice cruise out of the Port of New Orleans on such and such cruise lines.”  J shot back, “Oh no. No. No. That’s a real cheap cruise line.  You haven’t traveled until you’ve been on a luxury liner like the one I take each year. I hope you have a ball gown.  If not, we’ll have to get you one.”

Grrrr….  I don’t know if J thought he was ‘Educating Rita’ or what, but I had had enough!  I’d HAPPILY live in a zombie infested city than live on a prairie wonderland with condescending J.  I can just picture it now, J standing at some barn door in his Grandpa pants with his hands on his hips, condescendingly telling me what I didn’t do right this time.  I don’t care if the beautiful Sierra Nevada mountains are in the background, it still makes for one ugly picture!  And I sure as heck don’t care that I haven’t lived for not having been on J’s luxury liner ’cause I’ll be $&@?!  if I’ll ever walk into an elegant cruise ship ballroom on the arm of a man wearing Paw-Paw Pants!!!!  ICK!

So, needless to say, another one bites the dust.

Luckily, Miche is here to turn a bad situation into a good one!  Yay Miche!!!  The new Miche purse shells for August happen to have just the style for a horsey ride in the Sierra Nevada’s!!  Check these lovelies out!

And these new August purse shells reminded me of the LOVELY cruise I took because the color  matches the beautiful waters of Mexico.

Aren’t they just the cutest???  I really love Mya, the hip bag and I can’t wait to order Madison!!  Don’t forget to visit my website:  DianneTaylor.Miche.com to check out all the purses, accessories, purse charms and such.  Happy Shopping!!!

Until next time… Happy Trails and Fair Sailing!

Ms Pooz

PS… be sure to hit the LIKE and SHARE button if you can.  I’d be mighty ‘bliged!!!